She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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