Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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