guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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