can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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