Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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