mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
