so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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