If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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