I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it because I queefed?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
