so that wasnt chicken after all
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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