He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
