You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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