Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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