just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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