Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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