scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
