I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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