haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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