Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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