You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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