..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
