just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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