I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
