If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
