this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize