Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
