i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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