bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
