I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
