I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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