WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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