I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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