wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
