i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
