Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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