wrigley field is MILF paradise
We need to rekindle our bromance
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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