that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
