dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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