I puked a lego.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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