True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
