So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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