How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We need to rekindle our bromance
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize