Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
