I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
