Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
