Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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