Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
