covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize