Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
