It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
