Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
