She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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