Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize