It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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