I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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