Kareoke will never be a sober sport
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
