She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
