I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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