He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
